Looking for a new job is never fun, and in this day and age it is downright painful.
America is in the midst of an economic recovery, I think. After all, according to the BLS there were 175,000 new jobs created in the month of February. Also, the stock market is making new all-time highs on a daily basis. Everyone is fat and happy, right? We are living in the golden age of prosperity!
Um, no. I don't think that is quite accurate. I am not trying to make a political statement in any way, but it's tough out there. In case you didn't know, I am a stockbroker. At least that's what I tell everyone. It's easier than saying I'm an institutional fixed-income broker who also does commodities. For those that don't know, fixed-income means bonds. I work on straight commissions and have done so since 1995.
Ever since the collapse of Lehman Brothers and the financial carnage that ensued starting back in 2008, my business has gotten smaller and smaller each year. After every single financial crisis, the same thing happens: more regulation. I don't have a problem with regulation, because I don't believe I run a business that flouts the rules. However, for clients it means more scrutiny of every counter-party (me) they use. It means they have to construct bullet-proof paper trails for every trade they do, and it means not being able to direct business to a broker they like or get useful information from. In the end, it means fewer trades for me and smaller commission on those.
I was never big time. Not sure I ever really wanted to be. But, I made a good living and was able to take care of my family and even take a vacation now and then. That was then. Now, I can barely eke out enough to pay my child support and alimony, let alone have much left over for myself. While it is true that I'm complaining right now, I realize that I am much better off than many, and for that I am grateful.
I have come to the realization that I need to find something new, that I can't make a living doing this anymore. But, I'm 44 years old! What the hell am I going to do? I want to go in another direction, but what? I don't think I can stay afloat doing crossword puzzles and playing trivia games. I certainly don't think I'm going to make the PGA Tour anytime in the next millennium.
So, that brings me to the job hunt. Like dating and so many other things, the process of finding a new job or career has changed so much over the last decade. In the online dating world, at least they get to kick the tires before they decide they're not interested. But, the job hunt is a nameless, faceless abyss. You get an account on Monster or Careerbuilder (or both), you fill out your profile and upload resume and hope for the best.
I would love to be looking for my dream job, but right now I'm just looking for something that I'm qualified for and can pay the bills. The process works like this. You find a position that seems remotely interesting and click "apply". And instead of the company using the profile and resume you had already meticulously created, you get to join ABC Co.'s talent network! Yay!!!!! That means you have to enter all of that information over again, and since every big company has a "talent network" now, you have to repeat the process for each and every application.
Only then does the fun really begin. I like to call it "the wait". You get the email that says you have successfully applied for Jr. Fixed-Income Analyst at ABC Co., and you better the hell not contact us again. We will contact you! (If we're interested, which we probably aren't and so we're just going to leave you hanging until you have exactly zero self-esteem left.) Signed, Anonymous HR Department.
I bet those HR people really get a big kick out of the whole thing. You just know they're sitting at the bar of some swanky restaurant after work, tipping back an appletini and cackling with delight. Oh sure, that schmuck Jeff Hettinger thinks he's qualified to work for us?! Ha! Well, we're just going to wait about 3 months before we send him the form rejection email. That'll teach 'em.
So, here I sit at my desk, during the work day, writing a blog post about my struggle to find a new job. It's really more than that though. I used to have an identity. I was suburban father of three who loved to work on his yard. Ever since my divorce, I feel like I've lost my identity. I want to have one again, something to strive for. A goal.
I would be lying if I didn't say I'm feeling dejected about this whole process. I feel like I'm in the prime earning years of my life right now and that I have so much to offer an employer. It's also very hard not to take it personally. I've never had the best self image and it's all I can do to try and stay positive.
The hunt continues...
